


Lonely Planet: co-dependant douchebags in love

by masterpenguin, pr_scatterbrain



Category: Hockey RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe, Continuity What Continuity, M/M, Multi, Not!Fic, Polyamory, Russian Knitting Circle, Swedish grape vine, Travel show, douchebags in love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-01-15
Updated: 2013-01-15
Packaged: 2017-11-25 15:01:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 11,127
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/640088
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/masterpenguin/pseuds/masterpenguin, https://archiveofourown.org/users/pr_scatterbrain/pseuds/pr_scatterbrain
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Have you ever wondered what a travel show with Ovie as the host, Nicky Backstrom as the pretty co-host and Sasha Semin as the enigmatic cameraman would look like? </p>
<p>A not!fic featuring Pittsburgh: the city of love, co-dependent douchebags (in love), Semin being enigmatic, the Swedish grape vine, and way more ridiculous than should probably exist in one place. Plus Sid and Geno being 'that couple.'</p>
            </blockquote>





	Lonely Planet: co-dependant douchebags in love

**Author's Note:**

> One day Rae (masterpenguin) and I decided to have a conversation about Ovie as a travel show host. This was the result...

 

-

We should continue our discussion about Travel show host!Ovie. I think Semin should be his camera man who is totally enigmatic and totally unamused by Ovie (but he does think Russia is better than almost every other country they visit). And there should be Sid and Geno involved somehow. Maybe hosting a rival show? Or maybe Sid writes letters of complaint after Ovie visits/disses Pittsburgh  IDK. This topic requires further thought.

-

I think Nicklas Backstrom needs to be Ovie's pretty co-host. And Sasha is totally enigmatic - no one can figure his shit out. However he has a pretty good handle on Ovie so he's kept on by the heads of the network for that reason. 

I can just imagine Ovie visiting Pittsburgh and is Geno with the crew or is he in Pittsburgh already? I vote the second one. And Ovie decides this is a perfect time to catch up with his bff and former hate-friend (I love that term, found it in a previous fic) who has moved to the states to play for the Pens and Ovie interviews him about Pittsburgh all the while insinuating how Russia is better and because Geno is practically attached to Sid, Sid is there too. Sid tells himself that it's to make sure Ovie doesn't convince Geno to defect back to Russia, but really it's because they're that co-dependant. And he's heard all about that 'Ovie' person and seen his videos. He’s not sure he wants that influence around Geno. 

-

Oh yes, so much, to everything. Ovie would have dragged Nicky all around Russia/the world, arm slung over his shoulder - pointing out everything that is fantastic and wonderful and interesting and Backstrom would basically be the straight man to Ovie's everything. Semin would zoom in sometimes, on Backstrom making a face or standing in stunned silence while Ovie clog danced or introduced himself to random celebrities’ or made the driver pull over their car so he can go swimming in some grand/majestic lake in the middle of winter ('It's invigorating Backie!!!!' 'I'll take your word for it'). And those would be the classic moments of the show - the ones that would end up as gifs on tumblr or on youtube with like, twenty thousand views. 

And the three of them are kind of like this three person act which, over time, becomes like this cult program.    

hahahha - hate friend. I think Ovie would introduce Geno as that too, smiling the whole time and maybe smacking a kiss onto his cheek. People love Geno in Russia (not as much as they love Ovie, but Ovie doesn't blame them). And Sid would be there, but maybe like standing awkwardly apart from Ovie&Backstron&Semin. And it would be awkward, because Sid's awkwardness is contagious. But also hilarious to Ovie. 

Sid would totally be sizing Ovie up. Like, Geno's Pittsburgh bff meets his Russian one and at least Sid has brushed his hair lately because he is petty like that and why is Ovie still touching Geno? Does he need to be standing that close?

Sid totally would have watched all the youtube clips. And maybe bookmarked the one where Ovie is running with the bulls in Spain and runs into Semin's camera and chips a tooth. What? It's funny. Geno says so. Or Geno would if he wasn’t so busy showing Ovie the locker room and pointing out where his stall is and Sid is tagging along with his hands tucked in his pockets until Ovie turns asks where Sid's stall is and what? Sid's stall, why does he want to know where that is? And when Sid takes too long to answer, Ovie starts poking around, going through Flower's stuff and grinning as he pulls out one of Jordan's old jersey's and then he's sitting in Sidney's stall saying, 'Look! I'm Sid the Kid!' and Sidney has no idea what to do. He's dealt with sports reporters since he was a kid, but Ovie? Sidney turns to Geno, because, well. Sidney turns to Geno. But Geno is laughing and Semin is zooming in because he thinks this is the sort of material that will get them extra funding for their next season and Semin really wants to go to New Zealand and do a LotR’s special and they aren't going there without some serious $$$

And then it's kind of a thing and suddenly he and Geno are lined up to take Ovie and Backstrom around the city. Which Sidney didn't sign up for and but he can't leave Geno alone with Ovie. 

-

I feel like the extent of Ovie's research on any given place would be to check out wikipedia. Which actually makes it easier to write since I have no idea on a lot of the places they'd potentially go to.  

Initially the show would start just the three of them based in Europe essentially road tripping on the weekends and sometimes during the week - bah! Real jobs, who needs them!!! to nearby countries and then the vids getting put up online, which inevitably leads to them being contracted to a network for a short season to crazy kinds of success and now several years later here they are.  Initially it was just Ovie and Sasha but on an episode in Sweden they come across Nicky and Ovie pretty much decides to keep him. (OT3 anyone???)  

The US would be a whole new season for them, think Hamish and Andy (an Australian comedic duo who travel and create chaos everywhere and usually humilate themselves - see here: <http://youtube.com/playlist?list=UU4lJTrjdcIbXqbRK1ZTYgxA>) but Russian, and the places would be determined by the Russians that Ovie and Sasha knows. Of course they're all hockey players and the guys forget that Nicky is Swedish and thus knows like a shit ton of the Swedish hockey fraternity and they don't realise this until New York City where suddenly Nicky is getting all cosy with Lundqvist of all people!!! The horror! Cue jealous Ovie and quietly plotting a Swedish goalie's death Sasha. 

Ovie would be so entertained by Sid and the epic not romance between him and Geno. He'd spend the entire episode making lewd jokes at them both, which of course would go straight over Sid's head, and question Sid about the potential of all the places they visit as being date appropriate. I feel as though it'd be Ovie's goal to have Sid and Geno's epic romance be revealed on his show. And he'd make it the Valentine’s Day episode too. "Pittsburgh: the city of love and romance". The idea would be shot down in flames because Nicky would just look at him like, "… really?” With a raised eyebrow and Sasha would totally be with Nicky on this one because there is very little that is romantic about Pittsburgh. But he would keep all the footage of Ovie’s setting up Sid and Geno in there because, well, it’s really amusing in the way Ovie is so over the top and Sid just doesn't get it and Geno's face-palming in the background. -- in this universe does Sasha do all the editing of the videos too? It would allows for creativity in what is aired. And a lack of censorship too. Maybe we should introduce a couple more characters to do the editing process? I vote Mike Green who's hockey career was cut tragically short for whatever reason and somehow he and Sasha became internet friends - but not like that Ovie! Not everyone's a man whore like you!

-

Hahaha, Ovie sounds like me. Why research when I can google and be vague? I feel like he'd smile widely and be enthusiastic and that would about cover it. I also don't think he would call ahead. He'd just turn up and start filming/move into Geno/Pavel's spare bedroom and be like, the worst house guest in the world. He'd eat everything and record random shows on their tivo and make them arrange box seats for their games and maybe convince them to let him and his guys go on a road trip with the team. Maybe that would be how they would travel? And the money they were given, they end up spending at bars buying people (Sid) drinks. It'd be this huge sprawling road trip where they'd mostly visit their friends and somehow it becomes this half travel, half hockey show. 

I love the backstory. Nicky was their guide and translator when Ovie and Semin filmed an episode in Sweden? And then at the end, Ovie went and bought an extra ticket to their next location and that was it? And of course Mike would be Semin's internet friend that no one has actually meet or spoken to apart from Sasha and no one is quite sure if he exists apart from the fact that their show is always edited perfectly and on time. 

The Pittsburgh ep would be a debacle to say the least. Geno knew Ovie was coming (in that Gonch called ahead to warn him), but suddenly Ovie is wiggling his eyebrows at Sid and talking about his great ass (in Russian), and making jokes and talking about how great Geno is with kids, 'Isn't he Sid?' and 'Wouldn't Geno be a great father, Sid?' and filming Geno when he visits sick kids and orphans and maybe Geno can deal with that, but then Ovie is asking Sid what he does in Pittsburgh, and Sid is like, "Play hockey." 

"No, no. I mean, what do you do for fun?" 

Sid is confused.  

"Play hockey," he repeats.  

Ovie blinks. And okay. He can see he has work to do. So even though it's Geno and Sid who are meant to be showing Ovie and Nicky around town, it's really them showing Sidney awesome things to do (yes, totally taking them on faux dates) and inviting him over to help out during the cooking segment Ovie and Geno do (because why not?) and making Sid walk Jeffry with them when they tour the local parks and half the stuff Sasha films, they don't end up using, but that isn't new.  

(Mike wrinkles his nose at the amount of raw footage. 'Really?" he asks Sasha. 

Sasha shrugs. "You know how Sanja gets.'

"It's like watching him fit Crosby for a training bra.'

Sasha snorts.) 

I think they should be there when the Pens do their animal charity calendar, the one where there were all those pics of Geno cuddling the puppies, because that was crazy cute, especially the gifs where it looks like Geno is trying to steal the puppies. Sid would have to put up with Ovie as well as the official photographers and the official Pens PR people because it's all for a good cause and if he keeps seeing Ovie out of the corner of his eye petting the dogs and cats, well, Sid can focus. Or he could, but now Ovie is making face and why is Geno laughing? That's not funny.  

And then when Geno's doing his photographs with the puppies, Ovie keeps trying to convince Sid to adopt one of the animals and when Sid says he doesn't think he'll be able to look after a dog, Ovie grins and says maybe Geno can help out. It's awful and there are all these cameras filming and the puppies are wagging their tails and Sid knows Geno doesn't want to give them back. Any excuse to keep them will be good enough. Which is how the day ends with Geno and Sid somehow adopting the puppies. ('Starter children!' Ovie says, kissing Sidney's cheeks). 

And New York! Ovie and Sasha both tend to forget Nicky has people outside of them. But apparently he does and when did that happen? And Lundqvist? He'd take them to his restaurant and he'd know the city back to front and Ovie and Sasha wouldn't quite know what to do when Nicky disappears on them and returns drunk and murmuring in Swedish and with one of Lundqvist's hands tucked into the back pocket of Nicky's jeans and what is that about?!? 

And Ovie's mother! She has to be in it too, constantly badgering Ovie about being better and more ambitious and that she knows that look in his eye and he better not be getting Sasha or Nicky into trouble. 

-

Research is overrated. Ovie is all about the spontaneity! And he'd totally be the type to just move in for a few weeks, with Sasha and Nicky of course, and essentially invade Geno’s house. Sid’s very, very confused at why Geno just lets him do this and doesn't make them go to a hotel. Ironically this is also the same time that Geno spends a lot of time at Sid's (or rather Mario’s) house. 

**I’m feeling the need to google Pittsburgh now JSYK**

Ovie's travel show is immensely popular not because of the travel but because of the antics and the random appearance of celebrities. The travel part is merely an excuse to harass all their friends. Aaaall the money would be spent on beer and they'd travel with the teams, sweet talking their way onto the chartered flights - it does explain the episode they filmed in Columbus that one time.  

I just wiki'd Pittsburgh and figured out what Ovie would focus on! There's the aquarium, the dinosaur collection at the Natural History Museum (I imagine Ovie is all about the dinosaurs) and then I saw that The Dark Knight rises was filmed mostly in Pittsburgh, and also Dance Moms (don't know if you've seen it but it's amazing!) and I can see Ovie and Nicky and being all over that too. Sasha would be into Dance Moms in a major way.  

Ovie would totally go to the aquarium (with Sid and Geno of course) -potential date #4 - see the penguins and then spend 45 minutes naming all the little penguins (do they even have those in the USA?) after the Pens. 

"That one, that one is Sid! No that one, it’s much more awkward!"

"And that one that's penguin fighting over there- that's Cookie!" 

He'd be loud and very gleeful and oh so obnoxious. Sasha would be filming it all because this is absolute gold and he knows Mike will make it into an awesome segment of the episode. 

I feel as though Sid and Geno would get their shit worked out by the time Ovie and co left Pittsburgh - with the Pens for a game against say the Islanders - then it's only a short trip to go bother the Rangers (perhaps Nicky suggested New York and Ovie and Sasha thought it'd be a good episode. You know, actually make an episode or something. And then Lundqvist happens. 

Of course, Sid and Geno don't get their shit together before each of them, mostly Sid, cause Ovie's a shit and Sasha thinks it’s funny and Nicky is just as bad most days (it’s why he gets along with them so very well) walking in on them in compromising positions and ON HIS SOFA!!! He had to have it professionally cleaned TWICE! Geno just sighs and walks past. Sid is horrified of course all blushing and stuttering. 

When they do get together, however it happens, Ovie claims all credit of course, and then the episode is over and off the go to New York. And towards Lundqvist.

-

Ovie reminds me a little of Nick Scimeca. They both love free swag. Plus traveling with the team is awesome. It's like being able to say 'I'm with the band,' only Sidney Crosby isn't as cool a front man as Jack White. But being new bff's with him does get Ovie and his guys into the dressing room and vip section where the team parties like its 1999 and into official team hotel afterwards. Though they mostly camp out in Geno's room because the Pens won't get them their own rooms. (Ovie somehow convinces Geno to share his bed and in the morning Geno wakes up in the middle of a Ovie and Semin sandwich, with Ovie's morning hard on pressing into the small of his back which isn't exactly where Geno thought the night would end but he probably should have because he knows Ovie. (Nicky crashed in the bathtub)). 

But yeah, Sid is totally Ovie's new bff. And Ovie finds himself becoming more and more fond of him and okay, maybe, Geno could do worse.  

The aquarium! Maybe the Pens would buy the footage of Sid and Geno with the penguins, because, well, it's like shooting fish in a barrel. And any press is good press for Ovie and Nicky and Semin, so the five of them get squeezed into wet suits and feed fish to penguins. Ovie would rename all of them. (Sid would go beet red when Ovie pointed to the small squawking one and named it after Sid). 

I think Ovie and Nicky and Semin would be this whirlwind. Geno would totally escape to Sid's/Mario's place (would Ovie and Nicky want to do a segment at Mario's place aka invite themselves to Sunday family dinner?). It's quiet there and sure Sid has moments where he freezes up, but the more time Geno spends with him, the more comfortable he becomes. Sometimes when Ovie is racking up long distance charges on Geno's land line and Semin is poking around Geno's house looking for embarrassing things to tell Mike about and Nicky is encouraging both of them, Geno stays so late at Sidney's place he ends up sleeping over.  

In the morning, Sidney is softer. In old (name of some hockey team Sidney played for when he was a teenager) shirt, and boxers, he is oddly fragile. From the couch, Geno watches Sid pad quietly around his kitchen. It strikes Geno that Sidney is always oddly fragile off the ice, but it's only now in the quiet early hours of the day/in Sidney's space, that Geno recognises Sidney's awkwardness for what it is. In that moment, Geno is rendered just as vulnerable. He watches Sidney but doesn't dare join him. Blinking the sleep out of his eyes, Geno is so in love with Sid and of course that is when Sidney turns and looks at him.  

"Hey, you're up." 

"Yeah," Geno nods. 

And maybe nothing happens then, but they get themselves all worked out before the week is out and that is that. 

Then New York! Where Sasha and Sanja are the worst dressed people in the world, only for some reason people think they are dressed ironically even though they aren't. And Nicky and Lundqvist are handsome and stand far too close to each other and they keep leaning close to speak to each other in bars and Ovie catches Lundqvist with his hand on Nicky's (upper) thigh and no one has ever called Ovie petty (apart from Sasha), but that isn't cool.  

I think maybe this whole thing should be about Ovie and Sasha and Nicky finally getting their act together? Although it's so obvious that Geno and Sid are head over heels for each other, when it comes to them? Well, they're even worse. Sure Nicky left his home when Ovie asked and hasn't looked back since and okay, Sasha has put up with Ovie since they were teenagers, and Ovie is Ovie, but that doesn't mean they've worked it out: aka the subtitle of this should be ‘co-dependent douche-bags in love.’ 

Maybe it ends in Washington D.C where the Capitals hire them to do Cap's TV or maybe that's just where they get their act together? But yeah. Symbolism. Or something. Maybe Nicky gets them free box seat tickets? Or he and Ovie surprise Sasha with tickets to New Zealand? Sure, it's not exactly a declaration but there is nothing any of them want more than to keep traveling together, having fun and doing stupid things and just being stupid together. 

-

Oh god yes! Sid would be all "you mean they're NOT together?! But I walked in on them all those times!" and Geno would have to explain that they are very, very stupid and oblivious. While trying not to be too ironic, which wouldn't matter since it'd go over Sid's head anyway. 

Ovie totally sees an opportunity with the Pens buying the footage of Sid and Geno at the aquarium! They can make all sorts of extra cash on the side doing it for aaaaall the teams. The just need the opportunity. 

I do pity Geno's road roommate (Brooks Orpik?) for having to put up with the Russian roadshow. 

I would pay good money to see dinner at Mario’s with Sid and Geno and Ovie having extended an invitation for himself, Nicky and Sasha. Mario would totally go along with it because he wants to see whether them setting Sid and Geno up actually works or if the Pens are going to have to resort to even more drastic measures. Plus Mario had heard about Ovie and his promising hockey career before whatever tragic career ending injury occurred. And isn't Ovie documented as being a massive fan of Mario?  

I kind of like the idea that Geno spends all his time hiding at Sid's (and by extension, Mario’s) that he practically moves in there as opposed to the usual Sid moving into Geno's. Of course Ovie is all for this cause it means that woo! romance. Plus he has a place, rent free, to stay in the US. I can see them making Pittsburgh their home base purely because of this reason. Then he's close to his bff's. Sasha's happy because it's close enough to Mike and Washington for film editing and Nicky is close enough to the Swedes on the east coast. Not that Sasha and Ovie are too impressed about that but they settle down when they finally sort their shit out. 

I feel like it would be full of big gestures. Ovie and Nicky would totally surprise Sasha with tix to NZ. These three are all about drama. I feel like it would be Pittsburgh, then New York with all the awkwardness and jealousy over Nicky and Lundqvist. Then they get their shit together in Washington where Mike edits together a montage of 'get a clue'. 

-

I love the idea of Geno moving in with Sid (and Mario). I think he'd find Sid's life is very ordered - very self-contained. It'd take him awhile to notice how easily Sid made space for him. Just like Sid incorporated Geno in his before game rituals, Sid pours two cups of coffee in the morning and parks his car on the left side of the driveway so that Geno has room to park his car on the right. It'd be quiet and easy and the thing is, there was always space for Geno in Sid's life, right from the beginning when Geno first arrived in Pittsburgh. 

Maybe Geno was afraid to talk to Ovie back when Geno first arrived to play for the Pens? But he was afraid to talk to all of his friends. Afraid and angry and he might have run away from the KHL and his team and his home, but he only ran because they didn't let him go. And suddenly he's gone from hometown hero to this traitor and then there is Sid, who had waited to play with Geno, who eyed Geno up when he insisted on being the last person on the ice before nodding decisively. And maybe Sid gave Geno a home and a team and a purpose as much as Mario/Dan/Gonch did. 

And Ovie! He totally wanted to talk to Geno after his disappeared from Metallurg Magnitogorsk training camp, but Geno wasn't answering his calls or messages and then one day Ovie runs into Geno's Russian based agent and stuff happens. (Maybe Semin gives Geno the silent -enigmatic- treatment too, because hey, they're his friends and sure they're sort of a part of the same hockey world, but that doesn't mean they're going to be assholes). 

So Pittsburgh is as much about seeing Geno, as about properly fixing their friendship. Like they might have put all that stuff behind them when Geno came home in the summer (aka spent most of his time being annoyed by Ovie and getting in trouble with Ovie while being laughed at by Semin and accidentally hooking up with Nicky after a few too many drinks). But maybe there is still something to it when Ovie calls them Hate Friends. This is the first time any of them have come to visit Geno's new home. In a way, having them in Pittsburgh and having them film their show and do stuff with the Pens, is like having them accept Geno's life and his choices. 

Brooks Orpik! Poor guy. He would not know how to handle any of them. (Maybe after a long, hard night, Semin would accidentally climb into his bed) 

Also, we need a name for the travel show! Either something lame, or something that doesn't quite translate so they just call it something like ‘On the road with Ovie&Nicky.’  

I think Ovie and Nicky and Semin would be all over doing work on the side. $$$ is $$$. And they like $$$. And all access passes and homemade dinner at Mario's and asking random questions at press conferences and sometimes making out in the equipment room.

God, Geno's place would totally be their home base. At first, Geno would think he'd have gotten rid of them in Texas or Canada, but they just keep coming back. They work themselves from team to Pens, to team right back to the Pens. And maybe Geno's living room becomes their editing room and his garage becomes their storage space.    
Does Mike ever actually appear? Or is he even more enigmatic than Semin?

-

The show does have a name, really it does. It's just no-one remembers what it is. It’s just referred to as the "Russian Roadshow" a throwaway line made by Sid or one of the other Penguins. Never mind that Nicky is Swedish and quite vocal about it. He’s been around Ovie and Sasha so long that he's an honorary Russian. Which isn't quite the honour he supposes it should be.

I think Orpik would be mostly okay with Sasha climbing in with him. In that he probably wouldn't notice beyond a "wha... blergh" rolls over and goes back to sleep because whatever, he played almost 40 minutes that night and they have a flight the next morning. However in the morning he'd totally get a great deal of glee out of literally kicking Sasha out of bed. Plus Sasha looks like he'd be a cuddly sleeper. 

Geno's place totally becomes their home base. They totally take over and it isn't until months later that Geno realises that he hasn't actually been back to the house in a long while and that all his stuff is at Sid's (Mario’s). Geno quietly freaks out that Sid is going to realise and completely freak out until he finds out that Sid has gone to the Pens front office people and totally had Geno's contact details changed to his place and it’s all official and everything that Geno now lives with Sid.  

I don't think Mike ever actually gets seen by anyone other than Sasha who disappeared for several hours in Washington. Mike also does all the editing and what not for the Caps. Or should we just keep him as a hockey player who happens to edit film in his spare time?

-

I was thinking, maybe Mike and Sasha both are/were hockey players? Like Sasha played for a few years, maybe in the NHL or in the KHL, but he was always getting traded and people were always spreading rumours about him not fitting in with the 'team dynamic' (that's the downside of being too enigmatic). It was only when he retired and came back to Russia, he and Ovie started to make youtube clips because they both needed a hobby. Editing could be Mike's hobby too? The Russian Roadshow feels like the kind of show that would have a pretty tight budget. 

But I like the idea of Mike doing all the official Caps stuff too IDK. Decisions. Maybe it would work better if neither of them played hockey? Probably. Either way, the Russian Roadshow seems like a shoestring budget show that mostly relies on favours and Ovie convincing people to give them stuff for free. 

Is Mike enigmatic too? Also, also, do any of the teams try to hire them to do their in house stuff? Is that another conflict to add to the mix? 

I love the idea of Sid going ahead changing Geno's contact details without asking, and that Sid noticed that Geno moved in way, way before Geno does. And maybe Sidney thought that's how it happened? Like he didn't quite understand the social conventions for that sort of stuff but he did like having Geno around so Sid doubled up his grocery order, had an awkward conversation with Mario & Dan, signed some paperwork and that was that for him. 

Geno takes a little longer to come around. It took him a while to get used to living alone. For the longest time he took to inviting his parents/friends/teammates over and adopting animal or just going out with the team whenever he could, but slowly that starts to change with Sid. Slowly Geno starts eating better, going out less and being more punctual and maybe just being happier. Because now he's not so lonely (which might have been another reason Ovie and Semin kept coming back to Pittsburgh? Even in emails/text messages/twitter, they could tell Geno was a little isolated).  But yeah, Geno gets used to family dinners and hanging out with Mario's kids and being forced to teach Sid a little Russian so he'll know if Ovie is insulting him and walking their dogs together and suddenly he has a totally different life. Which, when did that happen? And he freaks out because he wants that life, not the one where he had five bathrooms and an empty wine cellar and Sid was someone Geno saw at practices and left in booths while Geno went and talked to girls at the bar. 

(I think it would be so interesting to see Geno freak out, because he's always so dependable in fics - always ready and waiting and all worked out. Here, I think it would make sense for him to have an emotional arch. He would have burnt so many bridges leaving Russia the way he did, and even when he made it, a lot of things would have hung over him. Ovie and Sasha would be assholes, but they care for him and they worry and they intend to set him right by the time they leave).  

-

Ooh, I like the idea that Sasha was in the KHL and then NHL and got an awful reputation because he was so Russian and so enigmatic that no-one had a clue what to do with him and he was on his own and lonely and basically it all went to shit. He ends up going back to Russia to play but it's just as bad in the KHL and Sasha starts feeling like he hates hockey which he always thought would be impossible. Let’s say he keeps getting shoved down the Russian League, not because he's not good, because he is, but he's not Evgeni Malkin or Pavel Datsyuk the darlings of the league and he's not very good at being what everyone wants him to be. 

And now I’m thinking I want to see Nicky, Sasha and Ovie in Pittsburgh fooling around on the ice after Pens practice one day and having everyone in the Pens realise that holy shit these guys are good and they could have been great. This of course leads to Ovie wanting to practice with the Pens more often. And more often than not Dan lets them, because let's face it, Ovie can be very convincing.  

Mike's film editing hobby started early and he kept it up over the years as he was playing hockey. Whenever he is out with injuries he picks up editing gigs. He and Sasha met when they briefly play for the same team before Sasha gets traded to another team. Let's say that they were road roommates and Sasha was talking about Ovie and his vids and what not - Mike doesn't understand what everyone say's about Sasha, he gets along with him great! And Mike told Sasha about his editing past and when Sasha and Ovie start their series and it starts getting serious attention, around about the time they bring Nicky in, Sasha gets in contact with Mike and gets him to do their editing. This would mean that their show would work around the Caps schedule but Mike's awesome and he makes it work. Anytime he's out injured the Caps media team totally have him come in and do some work for them.

Poor Geno! He's totally not equipped to deal with this sort of situation. In what world is Sid the more aware and together one of the two? It boggles his mind. I imagine immediately after he freaks out and goes back to his (but really now Ovie, Sasha and Nicky's) house for like a week until he realises that it isn't home. Not just because of the other three but because it just doesn't feel right. Ovie totally prods at Geno to make him go home "but this is my home" to which Ovie looks at him all pitifully, Nicky tries to talk to him about it, but they both fail at talking about feelings. Sasha has the most success when he gets Geno wasted and Geno starts rambling about Sid and how he is in the mornings and late at night and every time in between. And Sasha gets Geno to admit that he's totally in love with Sid and then Geno freaks a bit more, because, Sid, it's his best friend, he doesn't want to ruin that. So Sasha pours more vodka down his throat, calls a cab and sends Geno back to Sid with a note pinned to his shirt saying "Geno is in love with you, would you tell him you love him too so he'll go home and we can have the house to ourselves again? Sasha."

The morning after is horrible for Geno, hangover from hell and all, damn Sasha, and Sid totally makes him coffee and feeds him a greasy breakfast and when Geno is starting to look a bit more human, sits in front of him and tells him straight out that he loves him. Like sits and stares at Geno creepily until Geno looks up and then says it.

-

Yeah, I think without Ovie there to go 'Sasha's not enigmatic, he's just hungry,' it all kind of goes downhill for Sasha. He isn't adorable or charming or funny like Geno or Pavel. Enigmatic doesn't translate too well. For the first season, people reason that he just needs to settle in/learn English, but after the second and third season, when he hasn't 'settled in' or fluent in English (I get the feeling in rl he isn't confident speaking it) he's suddenly a negative element in the locker room and a player that doesn't put his heart into it/lacks passion and it kind of breaks Sasha's heart because all he ever wanted was to play professional hockey but the NHL isn't anything like he imagined. Hockey itself is amazing, but everything else? He just never seems to get it right/be good enough.

Geno and Pavel are so damn good, it means that can break the polite Canadian hockey player mold, but for players like Sasha? It doesn't quite work out as well. And even when he's back in the KHL, he can't quite make it work the way the coaches/owners/captains want. He can't quite make himself fit the way they want. Maybe before he went to play in the NHL he could have faked it. But he's tired by then and after a concussion/knee injury, he feels like he’s done.  

Maybe that's where the Russian Roadshow begins? Sasha is out with an injury and Ovie appears one day and says get into my car we're going on a grand adventure! Ovie's has had a lot of grand adventures over the years. (That's standard with him, because how else would Ovie live but exuberantly?). The videos/photo montages Ovie used to send Sasha while he was in the NHL totally brighten up Sasha's day. But this is the first time Sasha's actually been on one of Ovie’s adventures himself. And while on their road trip Sasha starts to records footage of Ovie on his iPhone, because Ovie is crazy and no one will believe him that Ovie was bucked off a donkey in the middle of a circus act unless Sasha has proof ('That stuff doesn't happen to normal people' 'They asked for audience participation! If they didn't want someone to ride that donkey they should have picked you Mr Grumpy Pants.') And they end up having so much fun together, that when Sasha gets back/recovers enough to play, it takes him less than a month to realise that the KHL isn't working anymore and it's time to move on and moving on turns out to be Ovie saying, 'Hey, want to go eat some cheese? I hear France is good for that.' 

And Ovie! I think he's always had fun travelling and being impulsive and crazy, but it's so much better to have Sasha there! And when Sasha starts uploading stuff to youtube (maybe to share with Mike? Because Mike always found Ovie's travel blogs hilarious too), and people starts tuning in, Sasha and Ovie just keep going on more and more trips and then they find Nicky and that's it. 

God, seeing the three of them playing around on the ice together would have been wonderful and awful in equal measures. Because they are so good, but Sid and the Pens are the only one who will ever see them. And Ovie!!! I get the feeling he loses himself in the game a little and over does it at practice with the Pens, aggravating his knee injury. And it's kind of like a wakeup call. Sasha has to sit him down and tell him no one can live in two places at the same time.  

Or maybe Nicky says that? We need a background for him. Was he an ex-hockey player too? Or something else? A professional tour guide? Hmm, something to think about.    
Geno and Sid!!!!!! Oh, Geno. He totally doesn't know how to deal with Sid and how Sid buys his favourite tea and walks his dog(s) and made room in his life for Geno. It's a lot and Sasha would totally send him home with a note pinned to his shirt (my favourite, favourite thing ever). Sasha has to take matters into his own hands. If he doesn't, it's clear no one will. So he gets Geno drunk and listens to him wax poetically about how he irons Sidney's shirts before home games and kisses his cheek and sends him home to Sidney where Geno belongs.  

And Sidney! He would straight out say that he loved Geno and wait until Geno had said he loved Sid too. And then Sid would nod and maybe he'd refill Geno's mug of coffee and something bright would begin to bloom inside Geno and that would be that. 

- 

Sooo, Nicky's backstory. Let's say Nicky played hockey in Sweden since he was tiny, and all cute and Swedish and he had real potential but for whatever reason he quit hockey and decided to go to law school. Since we've already used the blown out knee injury for Ovie, maybe Nicky suffered a really bad hit and got concussed while playing and had to quit. He chose law school, because well why not? He can't play hockey so it's not like he really cares. 

Then one day along comes Ovie and Sasha. They had a passing acquaintance through hockey and all that and so when they're Sweden they totally look him up and have him take them on a tour of his home town for their show. By this time Ovie and Sasha have a level of internet notoriety but the episode with Nicky gets tons more hits. Obviously Ovie and Sasha see this and decide that he is a good luck charm and decide to keep him. Since Nicky isn't all that keen on his potential career in law he would totally go along with this.  

He goes with them when they embark on the next leg of their show, travelling around Europe and being all awesome and everyone who sees the show agrees and Ovie totally gets the internet on side when Nicky contemplates going home and convinces him he has to stay because otherwise the internet will be sad. (which is totally true) 

That was five years ago and Nicky is still with them. He's more aware than Ovie or Sasha about the 'thing' that's between them but he's cool with going along with everything and waiting while trolling the hell out of them by flirting with everything and everyone. The chance to expand on this comes in New York, when Nicky hooks up with Lundqvist, but not like that cause he's totally married and Nicky's pretty sure Sean Avery will cut him if he even tries. *Side note - is Lundqvist married to his wife or totally married to Sean Avery??? Regardless Lundqvist is totally up for trolling Sasha and Ovie and plus he's kinda handsy with Nicky cause they're friends and totally played together back home. Plus he's Swedish and as good of a distraction as Sasha and Ovie are, Nicky does get home sick occasionally and so he meets up with all the Swedes he knows that are now in the states. *now imagining him catching up and going out for drinks with Niklas Hjalmarsson and Stalberg in Chicago and the three of them chattering in Swedish all night.* 

Oh god, Sid would feel so bad after he found out that Ovie had aggravated an old injury when playing about on the ice with the Pens. 'Cause Ovie would have challenged Sid and since he could never back down from a challenge and Ovie is not exactly known for recognising and adhering to his own bodies limitations they would totally overdo it. I can imagine Sid being all mother hen about it, since now that he doesn't have to worry about Ovie taking Geno away from him back to Russia to play for the motherland. Sasha would totally have that talk with Ovie and next time they're on the ice messing about Sasha would totally make sure they don't take it too far. Plus anything that involves putting the fear of god into Sid is always entertaining. 

Sid and Geno are totally that couple everyone hates once they get their shit together.

- 

Sid would feel awful! Seeing Ovie with ice packs around his bad knee, unable to move would - it would be just terrible. Sid always gets caught up when it comes to hockey and Ovie was just so fucking good on the ice, but Sid knew Ovie wasn't a professional athlete. Ovie was rough and out of practice. Sure he was stealing the puck from Sid far more than Sid('s ego) liked and pushing him around the ring, but Sid should have held back. 

I think, too, at that point, Sid realises that Ovie's somehow become his friend. Sid isn't sure how. Or why. But Ovie kind of is Sid's friend and Sid doesn't really have many of those. (Ovie has a lot). When teaser clips of the Pittsburgh ep of the Russian Roadshow 'leak' (aka Sasha wanted some hype because hype = ratings and ratings = another season), it kind of becomes a ‘thing’ because the Sid on screen isn't one that the hockey press have seen that much of; he's laughing at jokes and blushing and doing silly things with his friends. He and Ovie are funny too. Like a double act, with Geno chiming in every now and then. 

And the stuff Ovie and Sasha and Nicky do for the Pens/NHL at large is equally as funny/charming/cringe worthy. In the offices of the NHL/NHL teams, people are talking. The Caps in particular. Mike gets pulled aside by the front office to give the head office some inside info about them.   

I think Mario would be interested in them too. Though maybe fascinated is the more appropriate word. They take to inviting themselves to dinner, and - Mario's known Russians. But he's never really known anyone like Ovie. But he can't argue with how happy having them in town has made Geno (and consequently, Sid).  

Sid and Geno would totally be that couple. They'd be so quietly content with each other and with the situation they had somehow found themselves in. It would make Ovie and Sasha and Nicky look awful in comparison. I mean, if Sid and Geno get it together before them? Well, that's kind of embarrassing. Even more so than when Ovie usually manages to embarrass himself, Sasha and Nicky.  

Nicky! I think, after he stopped playing he was waiting for something. Maybe not Ovie and Sasha, but after he couldn't play hockey, well, law was something to do and he needed something to do. So he went to classes and studied and got reasonably good grades and thought about maybe going into corporate law because hey, according to his professors, he'd be really well suited to that and who was he to disagree? He didn't have any better ideas. Then a friend of a friend called saying two Russians were in town and they wanted a local to take them to all the 'hip people places' – a direct quote, which should have warned Nicky.  

The two Russians turn out to be Ovie and Sasha. 

After five minutes Nicky texts his friend. "You said two Russians. Not two mad Russians."

After ten minutes - well, Ovie has hooked an arm over Nicky's shoulder and talking about getting a drink. It's ten in the morning, but "Not in Moscow," Ovie smiles. And behind the camera Sasha's expression is unreadable. 

And then Ovie is buying a bottle of local wine - wine tasting on the fly! How cultured! - and they're drinking it while walking down historic streets. The locals are too polite to comment on the spectacle but it is a bit of a spectacle. By the evening Nicky is loose and warm and pleasantly buzzed. Pressed between the two of them in a bar booth, his head is lolled on Sasha's shoulder and Ovie is waving the bartender over - "One more round" and, I think, at least initially, Nicky thought Ovie and Sasha were together. But then at the end of the night Ovie disappears with the bartender, leaving Nicky with Sasha who was eyeing him with a certain amount of consideration in his gaze.  

It isn't a particularly illustrious start, but when Nicky wakes up the next morning it is to the sound of Ovie and the bartender making breakfast in his kitchen and Sasha reviewing yesterday’s footage in his boxers (the bite marks/hickies Nicky gave him bright on his pale skin).  

"Good night?" Ovie asks, his eyebrows wriggling in a frankly embarrassing way (embarrassing for him).

From the couch, Sasha wrinkles his nose. "A solid 7.5."

Nicky has no idea if he's being ironic or serious. 

Ovie narrows his eyes. "Out of ten? Or a hundred?" 

Sasha shrugs.  

Then the bartender goes home but Ovie and Sasha don't. Which, in retrospect, Nicky really should have known. Why would Ovie stay in a hotel when he can stay for free in someone’s home? 

When the first of the Russian Roadshow's Swedish episodes goes live, they get a crazy amount of hits. Drinking in Sweden with a handsome Swede is apparently a very specific genre. But also, a very popular one. Thus it makes sense to expand on the theme. 

Five years later the theme has yet to be exhausted.

Nicky would have Sasha and Ovie's number. But he's just as bad, if not worse than them. So he totally flirts with Henrik. And Hjalmarsson and Stals. Nicky is a friendly guy, okay. Maybe he does make out with Stals a little, but who wouldn't? Sure, maybe he does it near the back exits where Ovie/Sasha would catch them when they ducked out for a smoke. But who could blame him? And if his push becomes a shove? Well, it was a long time coming.  

-

Oh, god! Sid having friends the realisation would completely weird him out! The problem is that Sid and Ovie would push each other's buttons on the ice and it would be really hard for both to remember that Ovie isn't a professional hockey player. This whole thing leads to no more unsupervised sessions on the ice for Sid and Ovie and Sasha doesn't count because he is bad at telling Ovie to stop. Nicky and Geno are much better at Sid and Ovie wrangling. 

The hockey press (and everyone else) would be confounded by the Sid they were seeing on the show. It looks like Sid, but he's relaxed and not all tense, polite Canadian sound bites to the camera. He actually looks more human, than hockey playing robot. So weird for everyone. The leaked preview gets the most hits yet, the Russian Roadshow looks like it'll be staying in the states for a while yet!

I think for the NHL/Pens, Ovie, Sasha and Nicky would decide to do individual "specials" on different players. Since they spend so much time around the Pens, they've also gotten really attached to some of the lesser known players and unilaterally decide that they need more love too. These segments, done in their own unique style prove to be really popular with the hockey public. 

Maybe Mike asks them to do him a favour and do some vids for the Caps. And then other NHL teams get in on it too, but not too many because they don't want to take away from their travel show but it does allow them to hitch rides with other teams much more frequently and easily. Just tag on a really quick episode of filming about a player and voila! They get a lift to wherever they want. 

I can see why Mario is fascinated by them. Sid's lived with him for how many years now - 7 or 8? and with these three guys showing up he's suddenly in a stable relationship with Geno having gotten their shit sorted out, and really who didn't see that one coming, He's more relaxed but still playing as brilliantly as ever, he has 'friends' and a life and basically it seems as though he's actually growing up and becoming independent and all that. While still not moving out of the guest house, because just because he's growing as a person doesn't mean he suddenly likes his apartment. 

Nicky is totally the mastermind in this situation! He totally knows what's what and he's just biding his time. He can totally wait out Ovie and Sasha, but when Sid and Geno finally get together Nicky finally starts getting impatient and decides to move things along. Enter Lundqvist and the rest of the Swedes in the NHL. The Swedish grape vine is just as active as the Russian knitting circle just less overt. The Swedes would be in on Nicky's plan to make Sasha and Ovie realise they're totally meant to be together and practically already are. Really it's just a formality saying the words. Lundqvist would think it was a great laugh flirting with Nicky, which you know is no hardship, and his wife would be cool with it.  

There would have to be a time in Chicago where Nicky disappeared with both Stalberg and Hjalmarsson at the same time and reappeared the next morning with suspicious marks and being completely exhausted. It took hours for Sasha and Ovie to get over their snit with him about it, not that they realised that that was what they were doing. And they still glare whenever Hjalmarsson or Stalberg's name is mentioned. 

- 

Sid having friends would totally be something completely new. I mean, he has teammates he didn't mind sitting next to on road trips and Mario. And Geno. But all of a sudden he has Alex wanting to borrow his jeans ('Look, capri's!') and when did that happen? Also, how? Sidney isn't sure. But he kind of has the feeling Alex isn't going anywhere. (He isn't. For Alex, friendship is like pet ownership: for life).  

The clips Sasha leaks of Sid bickering with Alex are so unlike what the press know of Sidney that no one quite knows what to make of it. Only they want to know more, which of course turns out to be specials on the lesser known players who really didn't know that they were going to be the star of any such special. All they knew at the time was there were two Russians in their house and a Swede asking if they could borrow their car. Just for an afternoon. Or a weekend. Maybe more. And no, not for any reason they could share. 

(The reason turns out to be Sasha driving to Washington D.C to see Mike (and Alex wanting to test drive Deryk Engelland's new sports car and see if it really when from 0 to 100 km/h in less than 30 seconds)). 

So Sid has friends and a boyfriend and also a new dog (Jeffery always liked Sidney more than Geno), plus those puppies they are actually bringing up together like Ovie joked about (and still jokes about, because he is an awful person). He's still living with Mario, because you're right. Just because he's got his life together doesn't mean he has to move out. Geno doesn't particularly want to move either. He likes Mario's. Likes living with a family. The Lemieux's like having him living with them too. So yeah. They have their stuff worked out. 

Nicky, Alex and Sasha? They're a work in progress. But seeing Geno and Sid makes Nicky realise that lately, progress on the home front has been pretty slow. So he speeds things up. And maybe has a little fun, but they'll thank him in the end. It all comes to a head when they reach D.C, where Sasha used to play, before he was traded and traded and lost his love for hockey. Sasha's actually pretty okay with being back in D.C. He's happy with his life. But Alex arrives ready to hate the city and everyone in it (apart from Mike). Only he doesn't. He likes the players and the coach and the management and they like him. In fact, they think he's brilliant. They get his sense of humour and love the program and it kind of takes Alex by surprise. In his head the Capitals were this awful team who didn't really how wonderful Sasha was. 

Nicky has to take a break from flirting with his fellow Swedes to talk Alex down. Because sometimes things don't work out. And sometimes they work out for the best, and the three of working together, traveling together, being together, is the best, isn't it? And put like that, Alex realises it is. He wouldn't want anything else. And maybe that's what gets him thinking. 

Sasha meanwhile would be hanging out with Mike, which really means the two of them are hanging out at Mike's place watching bad TV. Mike is far too smart to let Alex into his house. Or Nicky. Nicky might put on a good front but he let Alex convince him to quit law school and become youtube famous/a travel show host. Mike doesn't doubt that Alex could convince Nicky to give up Mike's address.  

So stuff is finally happening. Only Sasha has basically disappeared (Mike is as mysterious if not more than Sasha is enigmatic - that's how they first became friends). Which means Nicky's only halfway there and Sasha makes things happen. He got them from youtube famous to national TV not-really-famous. Nicky needs him or Alex will panic and go try and climb into a bartenders pants (or turn up on Geno and Sidney's doorstep, drunk and wearing stolen jeans). 

- 

I think we need to deal with finally getting Ovie, Nicky and Sasha together.  

Nicky has been secretly using episodes of the Russian Roadshow to take Sasha and Ovie on dates. Those two, being as clueless as they are wouldn't realise. Mike is a little more clued in, so when Sasha nicks off to to camp out on Mike's couch for a week while they are in Washington, Mike makes a few comments and clues Sasha in. Sasha doesn't run screaming into the night at the idea, and uses the time at Mike's to think on it.  

When they gets back to Pittsburgh he's all introspective and speculative (for Sasha at least) and keeps watching Nicky and Ovie. Ovie doesn't notice - just thinks he's Sasha being Sasha. Nicky notices. Of course he notices. He gets Sasha drunk (my favourite method of dealing with any issue), it takes a bit him being Russian and all, but eventually he gets chatty. Cue stuff happening and him and Nicky agreeing to team up to get Ovie in their pants. Permanently. If Nicky thought he was sneaky taking Sasha and Ovie on dates he's in for a surprise when Sasha gets involved. 

I want to think that everyone can see what those two are up to and either help or hinder the progress at will. Plus the betting pool that would be going on league wide.  

- 

It would be so funny that Nicky has been using the Russian Roadshow to take Ovie and Sasha on dates. Ovie would be so confused. 'Why fancy dinner and theatre? Sid the Kid and Geno are together' and Nicky would wrinkles his nose, 'Don't you like free five course meals?' 

Which Mike, in D.C, would find hilarious. I think he'd needle Sasha when he came to visit. Because really. Nicky has been upping the wooing since Geno officially decamped to Mario's guest house. Sure it's funny to watch, but it's also kind of sad that Sasha hasn't cottoned on. Ovie sure, he still hasn't figured out why he had to involve the entire internet to stop Nicky leaving the Russian Roadshow to finish his law degree (maybe Nicky started off just spending his summer holidays doing the Russian Roadshow, but then, when it was time for him to go back to school Ovie went a little crazy?). 

Maybe while Mike's editing, he could bring up the whole Nicky/Ovie/Sasha thing. Like, commenting about if they really needed to make another 'Pittsburgh: the city of love' episode? Which, wow, looking at the montage of faux dates that were actually dates that Sasha filmed/attended, it's kind of, well, obvious and how did Sasha not know that he was gone for those two idiots? 

Mike and Sasha are kind of epic, I think. They're the kind of friends who shouldn't make sense, but totally do. They'd both be as bad as each other, though. Mike would be one of the few people in the world to not buy Sasha's enigmatic thing, and instead would kick him off the couch when Mike's favourite program was on. In my head, I think it's something embarrassing like Once Upon a Time or some reality tv program (both of which I watch like crack). He'd kick Sasha off the couch and then Sasha would get back up and sit next to him and steal all of Mike's food and put his feet on Mike's coffee table and they'd both stay up all night. Mike would edit like crazy and Sasha would watch in a kind of creepy way and in the morning Mike would roll up, half dead, to practice and Sasha would disappear into the front office to talk business with the PR people (because no opportunity is wasted with Sasha) and it'd be synergy. 

When Mike finally kicked Sasha out (if Mike let Sasha stay any longer, Sasha would probably move in and Mike's place only has one bedroom and he's not giving up his home gym or his editing studio to make room for a squirrelly Russian who likes to do laundry at 3 in the morning), Sasha would return to Pittsburgh he'd eye Nicky and Ovie anew. It's one thing to see the footage, it's another to be around them. And maybe he'd stand a little closer to Ovie and watch Nicky out of the corner of his eye, but he's considering his options which are apparently his loser best friend and a Swede with a bad haircut.

Would Sid and Geno try and help get them together? Like, invite them on awkward double dates?

'That's what they do in films!'

And sure, that what people do do in films, but In rl though, Sid would sit next to Geno and Geno would serve take away on plates inside of leaving the food in the boxes/plastic containers and maybe it's date night for Sid and Geno, but for Ovie, Sasha and Nicky it'd be the same as any other Tuesday night. Maybe the food would be a little better, but other than that it'd be the same as any dinner Ovie would invite himself too. 

The rookies, who Ovie took out drinking and completely drink them under the table would definitely try and help and hinder in equal amounts. Or just place bets. The Swedes though, the Swedish grape vine would be awful. I think when the Hawks come to play the Pens, Stals would totally be happy to see Nicky, in that he'd sit really close to him at the bar and talk to him in Swedish and maybe have his hand creeping up Nicky's thigh and what, didn't Ovie already have this talk with Nicky? 

- 

Mike would in no way let Sasha stay too long. He saw the unedited footage of what happened to Geno when the Russian Roadshow rolled into Pittsburgh. There is no way he wants those three living with him even for a day.  Sasha, sure. But not him and his two almost boyfriends.

Double dates with Sid and Geno! That would be so awkward because Ovie wouldn't see it as anything different because they hang out all the time! And neither Sid nor Geno can cook so making a romantic dinner for them wouldn't work and there's nothing really romantic about ordering chinese from the place down the street.  

The bet would also have an element of who could make Ovie snap first and Stals has a vested interest (a rather large bet) on it being him. When the Hawks roll into Pittsburgh for a game, Stalberg totally convinces Hjalmarsson to assist him. He has Hjalmarsson distract Nicky by talking to him at the bar while they wait for drinks, all the while Stalberg, who is on Nicky's other side, hand is creeping higher and higher up Nicky's thigh. And yes, Ovie did have that talk with Stalberg, but apparently it didn't sink in enough. Sasha can see it for what it is, now that he's in the know about Nicky's nefarious plan, and is idly interested in seeing exactly how Ovie reacts. He's just sitting back off to the side, waiting and watching. Ovie meanwhile has noticed and is getting more and storm clouds brewing as the night goes on, what with all these Swedes distracting his Nicky. After several vodkas and with Sasha being absolutely no help to him at all, enigmatic bastard, this appears to be the last straw for Ovie. He stalks up to the bar, pulls Nicky away from the handsy Stalberg and I don't know, plants one on him. He'd be shocked at himself, until the moment Nicky kissed him back when Sasha appears directly behind him. Ovie would worry about Sasha until after he and Nicky exchange a long suffering look of "what is our life, really" he'd pull Ovie in for an extended make out session right there. 

Ovie would go with it, meanwhile wheels turning and finally he's starting to get the idea. Stalberg is all \o/ and I win the betting pool! behind them before Nicky's common sense prevails and they move their party somewhere more private.

Can we just handwave the rest? They finally talk and get their shit together and live happily ever after (in Geno's house) in Pittsburgh travelling around still filming Russian Roadshow and generally causing chaos within the NHL.

-

Stals is horrible. Handsome and horrible (two of my favourite things). He’d have so much fun breaking Ovie. Afterwards when Ovie is embarrassing himself and Nicky and Sasha with his tongue heavy PDA display, Stals would smirk and then collect $$$ from the entire league.

Also, side note, I think Nicky should be wearing Ovie's jeans. Those awful stone washed ones with rips all up and down the thighs, and then Stals can be feeling up Nicky in Ovie's jeans, which would be like, the straw that breaks the camel’s back. The final indignity. I mean, those are Ovie's jeans and Ovie's co-host and then bam. Vodka plus too many Swedes all over Nicky = Ovie totally plants one on Nicky. If Sasha isn't going to help, Ovie doesn't have any other choice. Man. 

Yeah, then handwave Ovie and Nicky and Sasha talking a little and getting together and being happy and shocking Sid with their enthusiastic displays of affection in Geno's former master bedroom when he and Geno drop by to pick up the last of Geno's stuff.  

And yeah. The three of them are happy, Sid has Geno (and Nathalie now does both of their laundry) and Mike sometimes hires Sasha to do stuff for the Caps and in their next season, the Russian Roadshow is totally going to NZ. Or maybe they're just going to go with Sid and Geno during the NHL summer break. Because now they can totally do couple-y things together and to Ovie that means he gets to go on holiday with his boyfriends and his two bff’s and what's bad about that?  

- 

 

 

 

 


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